Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
