I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
