I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
