Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize