The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
