well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
