I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
