think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
