he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
