Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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