I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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