I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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