Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
