Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
