I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize