So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
