I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
