So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You smell like a Billy Joel song
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
