You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
