Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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