it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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