Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
