i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
