Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.

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(269): View more from Michigan

Pants 0. Shit 1.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up

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(208): View more from Idaho

Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton

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(360): View more from Washington

Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.

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(305): View more from Florida

According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.

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