Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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