ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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