the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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