Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
