If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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