bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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