Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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