So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
