I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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