I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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