thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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