kristin has been a bad kristin
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
