I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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