just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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