I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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