I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
