im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
