# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
