there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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