He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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