What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
