peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
