i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's never too late to be topless.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
