She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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