I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
