I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
